I recently hosted a playdate for my 8-year-old son and one of his new friends from school. One minute they were listening to music in the kitchen on our countertop Amazon Alexa device; the next, they were having a full-blown conversation with it, prompting the virtual assistant—now powered by generative AI—to place bets on who might win a hypothetical dinosaur battle.
Was it fun? Sure. But it also made me feel weird that Alexa so easily filled the role of a third playmate. In fact, after chatting with other parents, I found a consensus: We don’t know if we need guardrails around screen-free AI. I reached out to the experts at the Child Mind Institute to see what they had to say. Here, their sensible advice.
About the Expert
Dr. Dave Anderson is a senior psychologist in the ADHD and Behavior Disorders Center as well as Vice President of Public Engagement and Education at the Child Mind Institute. He frequently lectures and leads workshops for caregivers, educators and policy-makers on topics such as school- and community-based mental health support, stress management and coping skills, relationships between technology and mental health and behavioral intervention across home and school settings.
1. Put the Device in a Place Where You Can Hear It
“The trepidation is real, but at the same time, kids have to learn how to interact with all forms of technology—Alexa included—in order to be a part of a digitally literate society,” Dr. Anderson explains. He suggests placing your countertop AI assistant in a public location (or anywhere where it’s still within earshot) so that parents can easily keep tabs on kids’ interactions. “Ask yourself: ‘How are my kids communicating with this? What content are they calling up and what is the appropriateness? Can I help them with critical thinking skills around how they are using it?’”
2. Make Sure Your Child Treats the Device with Respect
“Alexa is not a person!” I’ve said in exasperation more than once, a reference to her increasingly natural conversation skills. Still, treating her like one isn’t the worst idea as we encourage our kids to practice kindness and respect. What does this look like? First, no calling Alexa “stupid.” (Yes, this came up during the hypothetical dinosaur battle.) Second, say “please” and “thank you.” Does it feel a little silly to thank the Google Home Mini for telling you the weather? Maybe. Does it help ingrain the habit for the next time a person answers your child’s question? Absolutely.
3. Encourage Family Discussions Around the Things It Tells You
Just because Alexa says the T. Rex was the most powerful dinosaur that ever walked the Earth doesn’t mean it’s the truth. (I’ve heard her confidently give me the wrong date for the Oscars on more than one occasion.) Rather, by keeping your device in a central place, you can invite conversation about everything from knowing (and trusting) your sources to how to fact-check the information you receive. “At the end of the day, whatever space we as parents can make to experience these tools with our kids will help them map risks around content and will no doubt be worth it,” Dr. Anderson explains. It also never hurts to remind your kids to pause before asking Alexa every single question on their minds. (Call me a dinosaur, but I love encouraging my son to reach for his prehistoric-themed encyclopedias—or his own brain—as a first source for dinosaur facts.)
4. Activate Parental Controls Where You Can
Depending on the device you have, there are a variety of parental controls you can activate to help screen the content served to your kid. For example, set up voice recognition so it knows when it’s a child it’s interacting with versus an adult. You can also set up Amazon Kids, which allows you to toggle off certain features—like explicit lyrics or voice purchasing—to help keep unwanted stuff out.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Unplug
Dr. Anderson liked that I eventually cut off the Alexa/dino debate. “You’ve got two kids who are in a public space—your kitchen—who are using this device for a limited period of time as part of the play. That’s great.” But it’s also OK to set a limit. “It’s the same way [our] parents might have said, ‘Hey look, you kids can have a little bit of time on Super Nintendo, but then you’re going to turn this off and you guys are going to go outside. It all comes down to balance.”
