Unschooling Is the Latest Controversial Parenting Trend on TikTok, But How Does It Actually Work? 3 Experts Weigh In

Recently, I was helping my kindergartener with his school bug project—a task that should have been fun (researching stink bugs! The dream assignment for a 5-year-old boy!). But as he struggled to write down the names of his insect’s predators, what started as an educational moment quickly spiraled into a meltdown. It wasn’t the first time I had found myself questioning whether the traditional schooling model was the best fit. Later, as I vented to a fellow mom about it, she chimed in with her own frustrations—this time about navigating the confusing world of “new math” with her third grader. “Is this really the best way to prepare our kids for the real world?” we wondered. And also, “why can't learning be more...fun?”

Enter unschooling—an approach to education that’s blowing up on social media and offers up a whole lot of fun…with a side of controversy. A form of homeschooling, unschooling is a child-led approach without any traditional academic systems or requirements. Advocates say unschooling fosters critical thinking, self-motivation and a lifelong love of learning. Critics, however, caution that without a structured curriculum, unschooled kids might fall behind in core subjects like reading, writing and math, not to mention miss out on important social-emotional learning that comes from interacting with peers. And TikTok? Predictably, social media has a lot of opinions on the trend.

Intrigued, I asked three education experts to explain this increasingly popular approach, including breaking down the pros and cons.

Meet the Experts:

• Pam Allyn is an educator, literacy advocate and CEO of Dewey, a company that designs products to help educators help parents to bridge the gap between school and home.
• Leah McDermott is an unschooling advocate,  founder of Bridge Academy and Your Natural Learner, and an unschooling mom-of-three.
• Gigi Schweikert is a parenting and education expert and CEO of Lightbridge Academy.

The term “unschooling” was coined in the 1970s and refers to a type of homeschooling where children are allowed to pursue their own interests and passions without a formal curriculum. That means no schedules, no worksheets, no homework and no grades or other types of assessment.

“We don’t teach our kids anything,” explains one unschooling parent on a TikTok video that has received nearly 5,000 comments. “Everything that they learn is in response to their interests or their questions. We have no curriculum and no school hours.”

So, let’s say a kid is really into outer space. A day in the life of an unschooler might involve watching a documentary, drawing constellations and then downloading a star gazing app to look up at the sky later. “Unschooling follows children’s interests and allows them to direct the pace and style of their learning,” says Allyn.

While it’s hard to get reliable data on how many children in the U.S. are being unschooled, some estimates suggest that the term may apply to 10 to 20 percent of the 2.5 million homeschooled children in the U.S.

Search interest in “unschooling” is currently at a 10-year high in the US, according to Google Trends. And the timing is no coincidence.  “Parents and caregivers have become increasingly concerned that public and private schools don’t always meet the unique needs of their children,” says Allyn. “Parents’ faith in schools was hit hard by COVID-19. Parents were demoralized by endless hours of screen time during COVID and were disillusioned to see that screen time continued to such a great degree once children were back in school.”

McDermott agrees: “The pandemic cracked open a lot of assumptions about education. We saw firsthand that learning doesn’t need to happen in a classroom to be effective—and for many kids, being home actually worked better. Families started asking questions they hadn’t before: What do my kids really need? What kind of life do we want?”

And then there’s the fact that as new technologies emerge, many parents are questioning if the traditional school model is still relevant. As McDermott puts it, “In a world that’s moving faster and becoming more complex, parents are realizing that flexibility, adaptability and emotional intelligence matter just as much—if not more—than test scores.”

Finally, unschooling is resonating with parents whose children don’t fit neatly into a conventional academic environment. “Unschooling has also become popular with parents who recognize their child has learning differences, yet don’t feel the structures of school are meeting the special needs of their child,” Allyn explains.

While unschooling falls under the broader umbrella of homeschooling, it’s not the same thing as recreating a traditional classroom at home. A child who is homeschooled, for example, may still follow a structured curriculum and participate in testing, assignments and other forms of conventional learning, with the parent as their teacher. Unschooling, on the other hand, is completely led by the child’s interests, whether that be cooking or calculus, with parents acting more as guides or facilitators.

Here’s how Tam, a homeschooling mom-of-three on TikTok, explains it: “The main difference between homeschooling and unschooling is just as simple as the word formal and informal. Formal learning with homeschoolers tends to look like purchasing a curriculum, or following a set premade structure or guidelines, whereas unschoooling is the informal approach to that where they might say, 'Oh I see my kindergartener needs to learn two plus two. Instead of using a worksheet or a workbook, we will use Legos or we will use Matchbox cars or we will turn it into a game.’”

That said, because it is still considered a form of homeschooling, unschooling families are required to comply with their state’s homeschooling laws. Some states (like Missouri and New Jersey) have minimal requirements, while others (New York and Massachusetts) require more formal oversight, so it’s important to know what’s expected where you live.

The experts I spoke with all agree that unschooling can offer some real benefits to kids and their families, but that it also comes with significant challenges. Here’s what they had to say:

Advantages of Unschooling:

• Fosters confidence and curiosity: “When [children] are free to follow their interests, they develop not only knowledge, but confidence, creativity and self-trust—things that are often diminished in traditional settings,” says McDermott. Adds Schweikert, “Children are innately curious, and unschooling gives them the time and space to follow their interests and passions without the constraints of a traditional curriculum. This often leads to deeper engagement and a stronger sense of ownership in learning.”
• Instills a love of learning: It’s not hard to imagine how learning math by playing with Legos or measuring for a recipe makes learning more exciting than sitting down with a worksheet. Per McDermott, unschooling means that “learning becomes joyful and meaningful because it’s relevant to their real lives. They learn how to learn, not just what to learn, which sets them up for long-term success far beyond childhood.”
• Strengthens family bonds: All the experts cited stronger family connections as a major benefit of unschooling. Here’s how McDermott sums it up: “In my experience—both as an educator and an unschooling mom-of-three—the biggest benefit is the relationship it fosters: between parent and child, and between the child and their natural curiosity. There’s no battle over homework, no pressure to meet arbitrary standards. Instead, we get to witness our kids unfold in exactly the way they’re meant to.”
• Offers individualized pace and focus: Unschooling allows for highly personalized learning tailored to a child’s strengths, needs, culture and community—including support for children with special needs or talents. “For a child who has special needs, whether it be in struggle or success, a child who is particularly talented in math, or a child who is struggling mightily in reading, parents can create a less judgmental environment at home and build experiences that will most motivate their child,” says Allyn.
• Fosters independence: Children who lead their own learning journeys build strong independence, self-direction and critical thinking skills. Schweikert notes, “When children are encouraged to make choices about what they want to explore, they gain confidence in their abilities and begin to understand how they learn best. This is a foundational skill that will serve them well throughout life.”

Disadvantages of Unschooling:

• Potential gaps in foundational skills: The most common concern about unschooling is that children may miss important academic foundations, especially in literacy and math. “Young children, in particular, benefit from a predictable routine and intentional planning that supports foundational skills such as early literacy, numeracy and executive function,” says Schweikert. “Without that structure, some children may experience gaps in learning that are difficult to bridge later on.”
• Heavy parental responsibility: Even if you buy into the idea of unschooling, it’s a luxury that not every parent can afford since you need a stay-at-home parent to pull it off. Indeed, not everyone has the time, energy or financial freedom to be their child’s teacher, notes Schweikert.
• Risk of missed diagnoses: Because parents are not professionally trained educators, they may overlook early signs of learning differences or developmental delays—interventions that schools are often better equipped to identify and address.
• Limited socialization opportunities: A criticism of all homeschooling (not just unschooling) is that without the structured group settings of traditional schooling, children may have fewer chances to build critical social-emotional skills. As Allyn explains, “Quality early childhood programs focus not only on cognitive development, but also on social-emotional growth, physical activity, and character development. In unschooling environments, especially those that are more isolated, children may not have consistent opportunities to develop these skills—such as learning how to navigate friendships, regulate emotions, or resolve conflicts.”

1. Project-Based Learning (PBL)

Project-based learning is a structured yet flexible approach that can be implemented at home via homeschooling as well as found in schools where “children engage in hands-on, long-term investigations driven by their questions and interests,” says Schweikert. “This method encourages collaboration, problem-solving, and deeper critical thinking, while still being grounded in clear learning objectives.”

2. Whole Child Approach

Another idea from Schweikert that can be practiced both in homeschooling environments and traditional school ones (in fact, the expert does so at Lightbridge Academy) is the Whole Child Approach. “This philosophy recognizes that young children learn best when all aspects of their development—cognitive, physical, social, emotional and language—are nurtured together. It includes a mix of teacher-guided instruction, child-led exploration and unstructured play, ensuring a rich and well-rounded learning experience.”

3. Montessori, Waldorf and Reggio Emilia-Inspired Programs

“Many school and educational models incorporate celebrated elements of unschooling,” notes Allyn. Here are three popular types of preschool programs and their philosophies that align with many unschooling principals:

• Montessori: Children learn best by doing. This means that kids are encouraged to engage in sensory activities (i.e., exploring by touch, sight and smell rather than just listening) and work as play (like cleaning and cooking).
• Waldorf: A play-based approach with a focus on imagination, teamwork and cooperation. Days are typically organized into a predictable routine (i.e., Tuesdays are for baking or Wednesdays are for gardening).
• Reggio Emilia: Cooperation, exploration and collaboration are the main pillars of the Reggio Emilia school, where teaching is project-based and child-led. For example, if kids are fascinated by the flowers outside, then a lesson might be structured around this to include gardening and planting.

4. Weekend Unschooling

Here’s a cool thing about kids and education—learning never stops for them. Which means you can incorporate the principles of homeschooling or unschooling whenever you want. “Make unschooling a value for you and your child on the weekends or holidays,” suggests Allyn. “If your child is fascinated by dinosaurs, try setting up dinosaur toys in a sandbox to ‘excavate’ or check dinosaur informational books out of the library. Follow the principles of unschooling and follow their passions. Life at home will feel good and learning will happen for all of you.”

A global pandemic and rapid technological advancements have sparked a growing interest in alternative education models, including homeschooling and its radical cousin, unschooling. But unschooling certainly isn’t for everyone, and it comes with both advantages and challenges.

As for me, watching my wriggly, energetic 5-year-old sob over a worksheet because he can’t spell the word “venomous” definitely made me wonder if learning how to write is, well, right for him right now. But the idea of pulling him out of school and letting him be in charge of his own education also feels off (I suspect most of our “learning” would be looking at Pokémon cards). So where does that leave us?

“Ultimately, the best alternative is one that supports the needs of the whole child and provides a sense of security, joy and discovery,” says Schweikert. “Children thrive in environments that are both responsive and intentional—places where they are known, celebrated and encouraged to grow.” For some families that’s going to be in a traditional classroom. And for others, it just might be at the kitchen table.