Can We Stop Pretending Effortless Style Is Effortless?

There’s a certain kind of woman we’re always told to aspire to be. She’s the French girl drifting through Paris in a perfectly rumpled button-down. She’s the clean girl with slick hair, poolside skin and a five-minute beauty routine. She’s the woman who tosses on a white tee and looks absolutely stunning. She is, above all, effortless. Which is to say, she’s put together but pretends she didn’t try. 

And while the looks themselves may evolve (today’s minimalist slick bun, yesterday’s beachy waves, tomorrow’s something else), the message stays the same. Women should strive for perfection, but the catch is we can’t let anyone see the actual striving.

Effortlessness has become a myth dressed up as a lifestyle. Think about the tutorials promising a no-makeup makeup look. They rarely involve no makeup at all; instead, they call for tinted serums, brightening concealers, liquid blush, brow gels, lip oils, highlighters and three types of brushes.  The routine may look natural, but the labor behind it is anything but.

The same goes for the culturally romanticized French girl ethos. Media often sells French femininity as something inherent—a je ne sais quoi, a born-with-it charm. But talk to actual French women, and they’ll tell you their beauty routines are extremely meticulous. They visit dermatologists regularly. They invest in high-end skincare. They schedule blowouts, hair glosses, facials. You name it. What we call effortless is very much strategic.

But when a trend is built on the idea that beauty is innate, the women who work incredibly hard to achieve it are seen as trying too hard. The labor becomes invisible. The privilege becomes invisible. And the pressure becomes enormous. And along with the pressure, is a price well beyond dollars. 

Emotionally, it requires women to walk a tightrope: put in the work, but don’t show it. Care deeply about your appearance, but pretend you don’t. Present perfection, but never admit how much time it took. That kind of cognitive dissonance takes a toll. It reinforces the idea that beauty is supposed to be easy, and if it’s not easy for you, then you’re somehow failing.

Physically, this work shows up in the multi-step routines. The retinols, the laser appointments, the eyebrow threading, the blowouts, the manicures that are somehow understated and immaculate at the same time. These rituals take time that women often don’t have, especially if they are mothers, caregivers, hourly workers or really anyone navigating real life.

There’s also the gendered dynamic at play. Men are allowed to show effort. They can hit the gym for hours, invest in hobbies, obsess over sneakers. But when women show effort (like admitting to caring about their appearance) they’re labeled vain, high-maintenance and worse…dramatic. The punishment for visible effort is uniquely feminine.

Now, let’s be fair. I’m a beauty girl and I’m the first to admit there’s nothing wrong with wanting to polish yourself in ways that make you feel more confident. But there’s something harmful in insisting that beauty should look natural, that the appearance of ease is more admirable than the work it took to get there.

So let’s get honest about the labor behind looking great, because it loosens the grip these standards have on us. We give ourselves permission to show up without the performance. It’s time we get real about being unreal.