Ever since I graduated from college, I’ve noticed something. Every time I want to see a friend, it’s inevitable that we’re going to spend money. Sometimes it’s an $8 cup of tea (#newyork). Other times it’s a museum ticket or dinner bill running in the hundreds of dollars. I’ll think to myself, YIKES. As Vivian Tu once said, “You can afford anything, but you can’t afford everything.” It’s expensive to keep up with the Joneses—errrr, my bougie friends. And so I’ve got a proposition: Can we normalize not spending money when hanging out?
After all, it’s not just me who’s feeling the crunch. Indeed, wages are barely keeping pace with inflation and Credit Karma reports that almost half of Americans saw their financial circumstances worsen in the last year, with over 50 percent of people making it a goal to stick to a budget in 2026. And how is this affecting our relationships? The personal finance platform notes that 47 percent of Gen Z and 36 percent of Millennials have considered ending friendships because of spending discrepancies. Over a third have specifically reported that they have a friend who drives them to overspend and perpetuate a cycle of debt.
Personally, I don’t want to break up with any friends, but I also don’t need an activity to enjoy someone’s company. I even like doing free things, because, frankly, New York City is too expensive to keep paying for stuff I actually hate. But more broadly, I want to normalize not spending money when hanging out because it can create a socioeconomic dynamic that, at times, can prevent an otherwise lovely relationship from blossoming (see the data above). It can’t be an all-or-nothing situation where not being able to meet for weekly drinks (an easy $100 tab in NYC) casts someone out of a friendship.
If you, too, want to have fun with your friends without feeling like you’re blowing a hole in your bank account, here are some tips. Remember that free doesn’t mean less fun. It just means more creativity.
