As I near 10 years of marriage—with the addition of two little kids—it feels like I’m stating the obvious when I share that romance is a bit harder to come by day to day. No, I’m not talking about love—I’m talking about wooing each other. Yes, you can book the babysitter and make a dinner reservation, but adding a bit of spice to the night requires a tad more effort.
Three years ago, I wrote about this genius advice I found back when my husband and I were newlyweds: Meet at the restaurant. And I’m here to affirm that it still holds up.
Let me set the scene: Date night comes and, let’s be honest, the parents (me! my spouse!) are tired. It’s not that a night out on the town feels like a chore, but by the time we race to get ready, tidy up our place and give the babysitter a logistical rundown and the WiFi password, we’re exhausted. Flirty conversation on the way out the door is the last thing on our minds.
That’s why I love this work-around. On a recent date night, my spouse slipped out before the sitter arrived; I stayed behind to ease the transition and nab a few extra minutes getting ready after he left.
As a result, I felt less rushed getting out the door—ahem, no spouse checking his watch—but I also appreciate the solo head-clearing walk to the restaurant. It helped me reframe the night and shed the stress brought on by kid logistics. (Was that a pitter-patter I felt in my chest as I approached?)
Instead of bursting through the door together feeling frazzled, I found myself taking a moment to apply lipstick outside, then peering into the restaurant and scanning the bar in search of my husband. He had a seat reserved just for me and took my coat, before complimenting my (new-to-him) outfit. It was romantic and exciting—it also felt like old times.
For the record, this trick works for couples without kids, too. Maybe you’re co-habitating and just want to remove the part where your spouse sees you apply deodorant or pluck your chin hairs. Maybe it’s fun to simply meet in the garage and drive over together.
Bottom line: It’s the surprise that matters; the idea that effort was made. And if you smooch on the way home, all the better.
