You know that feeling when you're rummaging through a mountain of clothes just to find one thing? Or that low-key panic when a surprise guest is on their way and your home is, well, a disaster? We've all been there. But what if we told you that the clutter in your life isn’t just about having too much stuff? According to a professional organizer I spoke with, a very cluttered space that you can never seem to keep tidy is a manifestation of blocked emotional clarity. Understanding the psychological underpinnings of a messy environment—what might be called emotional clutter—is a first step in a useful self-discovery, leading to tidier surroundings and calmer existence.
4 Expert-Backed Ways to Clear Out Emotional Clutter (and Breathe Easier)
Even more reasons to go through that mail pile
•
Published Aug 24, 2025
ljubaphoto/Getty Images
Meet the Expert
Dr. Regina Lark is founder of A Clear Path, a professional organizing company. After a successful career in academia, Dr. Lark earned specialized certifications in ADHD, chronic disorganization and hoarding disorders and began working with clients to tackle regular moves, achieve organization goals and remediate hoarding. She is the author of Psychic Debris, Crowded Closets: The Relationship Between the Stuff in Your Head.
Emotional Clutter vs. Everyday Clutter
Let’s say your surroundings skew toward maximalism, heaps of brightly colored pillows, a display cabinet of Sonny Angels or other hallmarks of dopamine décor. And you love it! You’re able to locate everything you need for you and your family’s life and just seeing your belongings and hanging out in your home makes you feel safe, energized and happy. Well, then—you’ve mastered the art of everyday clutter and have a handle on the ebb and flow of living in a busy home.
But by contrast, if you find yourself paying bills late because they’re part of that unopened stack by the door, purchasing extra mascara because you couldn’t find yours on your crowded bathroom countertop, or if you keep setting aside Saturdays to “straighten up the mud room” but it stays a snaffle of boots, socks, half-filled totes and recycling…you might have some emotional clutter that’s manifesting in actual clutter.
According to expert Dr. Regina Lark, the physical act of tidying up is deeply tied to our emotional and mental well-being. While everyone has busy times in which they can’t make time to go through the mail or put away all their clothes, if you strive for minimalism but feel stuck in a pattern of over-accumulation and messiness, you might benefit from some deep inward reflection, in order to gain mastery and organization. "The clutter in their homes is a physical manifestation of what's going on inside," Dr. Lark explains. It's not about achieving a magazine-worthy home, but about finding peace within your own four walls. Dr. Lark shared four ways decluttering can transform your mental health.
4 Tips to Sort Through Emotional Clutter
1. Reclaim Your Power and Autonomy Through Small Decisions
We often feel like we’re drowning in things, and it can be hard to believe we have the power to change it. But every single decision you make—what to keep, what to toss—is an act of individual autonomy. "Decluttering is an exercise in individual autonomy," says Dr. Lark. "It’s about making decisions for yourself, for your space and for your life." This is especially true in family settings, where the lines of ownership of everything from household cleaning tasks to favorite jackets can be blurry.
Why This Helps:
Asserting your right to decide what happens to your own things isn’t just about tidiness; it’s about establishing personal boundaries and reclaiming your space—physically and mentally.
2. Practice Detaching the Object From Its Significance
Lark explains that holding onto these things can be a form of grief recovery. "So many people hold onto things because they represent a memory, a person or even a past version of themselves," she says. "They're afraid that if they get rid of the item, they'll lose the memory."
Dr. Lark shares a powerful story to illustrate this: “I worked with a mom whose daughter had died of leukemia about a year before, and she was ready to start dealing with her daughter's things. And it was so deeply sad. We developed a code word so that when we're doing the work, and we were on different sides of the room, when she would come across something that was particularly devastating. And our code word was ‘my little bug,’ because that's her pet name for her daughter. So every now and again, I would hear her say, ‘Oh, my little bug.’ And I would stop what I was doing, and just go over to her, wrap my arms around her and we would cry together. She'd tell me a funny story, and then, we went back to the work,” Dr. Lark remembers. “The emotions don't go away. You don't get you don't ever get over this. I think you just learn how to walk differently with that kind of grief.”
Remember, Dr. Lark says, the key is to honor the memory without needing the item; she suggests taking a photo of the object or journaling about the memory it holds. "When you can let go of the physical object, you're not disrespecting the past; you're making space for the future," she says.
Why This Helps:
Actually picking up and assessing emotionally freighted objects allows you to process the powerful emotions around the person, time or event associated with the object. Facing your fears of uncomfortable feelings helps you to live in less dread of them.
3. Work with, Not Against, Challenges Like ADHD, Anxiety and Depression
Dr. Lark describes an “aha moment” when a client promised to sort through a pile of papers before their next organizing session. A week later, not only had the pile not been touched, but it was surrounded by a clutter of new papers. “Paper piles, paper, papers everywhere,” Dr. Lark recalls. “So then, I'm curious about all of this. And it's all very foreign to me, because I learned that, oh, not everybody organizes and is uncluttered the way I'm uncluttered.” After study at the Missouri-based Institute for Chronic Disorganization, an organization that explores chromic clutter and links to brain-based challenges such as ADHD, anxiety, depression, hoarding disorder, PTSD, TBI and more, Dr. Lark understood that executive function challenges are part of what is stopping some people from being organized. When her clients understand this, she says, they’re able to take direction, for example by following prompts to work in 15 minute intervals and to check in before and after tasks they’ve put off.
Why This Helps:
A giant task, including “finally getting organized,” is too daunting for someone who has executive function challenges. But by having a coach assign short intervals, or by self-tasking similarly brief goals, a person can complete a task, which leads to self-esteem and willingness to try another short task. Pretty soon, a habit of regular organization is established.
4. Continuously Remind Yourself of the Goal: Calmness
What’s the ultimate reward of a decluttered space? Calmness. When your home is no longer a source of visual chaos, your mind follows suit. "When your physical space is orderly, your mind tends to follow suit," Dr. Lark explains. Think about the mental energy you spend searching for misplaced keys, remembering where you put a bill, or just navigating a messy room. "Every item you own requires some amount of mental energy. It needs to be stored, cleaned, or maintained," she says. By reducing the number of items, you’re literally reducing your mental load. This simple but profound connection between an orderly space and a calm mind can significantly reduce anxiety and stress, allowing you to breathe a little easier in your own home. "A calm space leads to a calm mind. It's a simple but profound connection," Dr. Lark concludes.
Why This Helps:
A giant task, including “finally getting organized,” is too daunting for someone who has executive function challenges. But by having a coach assign short intervals, or by self-tasking similarly brief goals, a person can complete a task, which leads to self-esteem and willingness to try another short task. Pretty soon, a habit of regular organization is established.
