Calling All Gen Xers: This Old School Dating Trend Is Back

It’s hard to keep up with the latest dating trends these days—one minute we’re championing delusional dating and contra-dating, the next we’re lambasting throning and Tarzaning. But the latest dating trend isn’t about texting etiquette, ghosting habits or any other modern-day challenge. It’s something much more retro. Think: those fleeting IRL sparks—a stranger’s smile on the subway, a shared laugh in the grocery aisle, that lingering eye contact you just can’t shake.

In an age of curated feeds and AI everything, Gen Xers will be pleased to hear that Craigslist’s iconic “missed connections” is making a comeback—this time on TikTok, Reddit and even Instagram.

When I first moved to New York City, I used to frequently browse Craigslist's ‘missed connections’ section, a digital bulletin board of sorts for near-misses that was popular in the ‘90s and early '00s. You saw someone, didn’t get their info, and used the post as your second chance to connect. Part of me was hoping that one of the cute guys I had been making eyes at on the subway actually went to the trouble to seek me out in that forum, but it was also just really heartening to see all the other anonymous people who would bother to do that for others; those who found meaning in a fleeting connection and made the effort to pursue it, despite how unlikely it was they would ever cross paths again.

Federal legislation put the kibosh on the Craigslist forum from back in the day, but it’s up and running again in many cities, now in the Community area of the website and with better oversight. But even more interesting is that this old-school dating approach has seen a revival on social media platforms. The New York Times reports that there’s an Instagram revival of the trend that’s attracting many city-dwelling folk and The Guardian describes missed connections found on Reddit and TikTok, like the one below.

Although the concept originated with Craigslist, it and other personals sections hit a roadblock when the government passed a bill (SESTA) to crack down on sex trafficking back in 2018. The hope and romance that chance encounters can inspire, and the desire to pursue them farther, is still very much a thing, though; it’s just migrated to other social media platforms.

Just a quick search for #missedconnections on TikTok or Instagram pulls up thousands of posts from people hoping to track down a fleeting crush. Of course, not everyone’s in it for love—some are just here for the entertainment. Case in point: TikTok user @itskenzeri admits that reading Craigslist’s old missed connections has “taken over my brain…all I want to look at.”

As for why it’s currently trending, I’m no expert but if I were to speculate, I'd say that people are growing increasingly tired of dating apps and crave the authenticity of real-life encounters. Additionally, the ability to tag cities or locations on platforms like TikTok allows missed connection posts to gain wide, local visibility, thereby increasing the chance of the person actually being found. 

Whatever the case may be, the vulnerability and optimism involved in using these platforms to shoot a shot in the dark is pretty darn beautiful, and apparently something many people want to be a part of.